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I was weird: into books, writing, big ideas and sad movies. I met someone in the midst of finding my voice on the page: I fell in love with my teacher. There was something about his eyes, his words, which reached right into the heart of me and made my pain and beauty feel witnessed. He didn’t know how white women followed me around in stores, or how people judged me on the street. But he got the heart of me: that sometimes I stare off in the distance thinking about my mother’s small hands, or how much I miss my grandmother’s smell. I cry when I read about another Indian girl going missing, and that’s something. My son’s hair is light brown and his eyes are a special type of gray, still trying to decide what they are.
He was hapless, a thinker, goofy, with a big head like mine and a ton of weird interests, but he was white. It was profound, and everything I could hope for in a man, but the problem was he wasn’t Native. I finally understand my sister’s struggle when she’d take her mixed children shopping, and people mistook her for the kid’s maid. But my sons aren’t any less loveable for being mixed, and while one is darker than the other, both of them will have a right to sing the songs of my nation and stand with me in honor.
I think she’d be glad I’m with a man who lets me write, but I know she’d be disappointed he wasn’t Native. There was thousands of brilliant Native men out there, and I probably would have found one had I held out a little longer, but I don’t think I’d be better for it. The thing people live for, after years of watching you be tortured by it.
I imagine her quiet disapproving nature as she watches my children play, and how she’d secretly be scared for their futures. I found someone who respects me as Indigenous, and who might be a corny white guy sometimes, but for the most part, he’s willing to learn how to help me pass on my lineage.
Indians dominate as engineers, doctors, lawyers, venture capitalists and entrepreneurs. According to Wikipedia*, "India holds the highest number of Miss World winners, only to be tied with Venezuela." (*That feels a little like citing The National Enquirer but I am going to go with it.) Most Indians are innately gracious, social creatures; they highly value friends and family and have a calendar filled with various holidays and occasions to celebrate, which they typically do with gusto. Some safe, attractive possibilities: Salman Khan, Aamir Khan, Hrithik Roshan and Amitabh Bachchan. I hope Laxmi, Goddess of Prosperity, smiles on you as you endeavor to date one of her people.
They make up a large proportion of our graduate students -- just walk around the campuses of Harvard, Columbia or Stanford or and you will see these incredibly attractive brown people all over the place. Those endless jubilant dance numbers in Bollywood movies pretty much channel the Indian soul. If for no other reason other than you want someone to dance with you (or without you for that matter), date an Indian. Oh yea, I almost forgot to mention: one more big bonus when it comes to dating an Indian: communication with cabbies. New Yorkers: Just imagine if you could stop a taxi during the 4pm transition time and your date could say, in Hindi, "Hey brother, will you please take us to Spring and 6th?
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| Tags: class, culture, dating, interracial dating, love, Love Insh Allah, Muslim dating, Muslim love, Muslim men, Muslim relationships, Muslim women, racism, radical love, relationships, Salaam Love, Tanzila Ahmed, white privilege, white supremacy “I have some questions about things you’ve written about,” John asked last week. ” “Dating in Los Angeles is harder than other cities I’ve lived in. Though, when it comes to choice, which is what online dating is all about – that’s what I would prefer. He’s in a suit with a flower on his lapel, standing happily next to his beautiful bride.
We were chatting during happy hour at the annual conference where we meet and catch up. Her white veil cascades over her off-shoulder wedding dress.
” I wonder if white men get asked the same question: do they find their choice in white women limiting? If I happen to find a white guy who shares the same values and there’s chemistry, sure! If I’m on a dating site where they ask you and I have to choose, I don’t pick white.” “Have you ever tried to date a white guy? “Actually, my longest relationship – two years – was with a white guy. But as a teenager – all I knew was that I was rebelling against my parents’ traditional ideas.